I just wrote this yesterday…. comments not only welcomed but needed
id·i·o·lect (ĭd’ē-ə-lěkt’)
n. The speech of an individual, considered as a linguistic pattern unique among speakers of his or her language or dialect.
American Idiolect Dialect
“Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” I hear this crap all the time. Why do we say this? Really who plays horseshoes any more? In a generation or two no one will even know what that means. I do not think I have even ever played it, but I am at least aware of what it is.
“That works like a charm.” I can see how this statement came about at least but why do we still use it? We as an intelligent people know charms and spells do not work. If they do anything for us it is purely placebo effect. It is because we believe in something that it may work. Long ago when it was a time of less technology and medical knowledge I could see how one could believe in charms so when it worked they could say, “Worked like a charm.” Now it should have the meaning changed, because we know that they do not really work.
Another one that makes me crazy is, “More fun than a barrel of monkeys.” How fun is a barrel of monkeys really? If you think about it a barrel of monkeys is kind of scary. I mean wouldn’t they be all mad and stuff? I know if I was a monkey and I was trapped in a barrel with other monkeys with a monkey foot in my face and a monkey knee in my back I would be mad. That is one barrel that should never get opened! Who wants that?
Okay, okay I know that is not what this statement means, they are referring to the little red or blue plastic toy that every kid has at one point. You know what I mean right? It is in the toy box next to the Mr. Potato Head. All the little pieces have fallen to the bottom of the toy box though so you never really played with it. But it was never all that much fun anyway so you do not worry about it. So I guess that just about anything is more fun that a barrel of monkeys. So there is no point n saying it. You may as well say, this is not that fun really.
“Well aren’t you as cute as a button?” What the fuck does that mean? Really have you seen cute buttons? Okay perhaps there is some out there. I know I have never seen one and I also know I do not want to be compared to one. Who came up with that? That is one of those that have been around since before our grandfathers. I can not imagine any one who would have liked to be called as cute as a button. If they do it is only because they really, really like the person who said it.
Do not even get me started on urban speak. Now before you call me a racist I realize that this is not a race thing. People of all races destroy the language trying to sound cooler than they are. What they do not seem to realize is they only make themselves sound dumber. They only impress the people of equal level, and will never be able to rise above where they are. No one can take you serous when you speak like this. Have you ever seen this stuff spelled out? I have studied language and even a little cryptology, but must have missed the day in school that they taught this. I can not decipher it. I was once told I would catch on. I replied saying I have too much respect for my language to even try to catch on.
Why do we keep saying this crap? You know as soon as it is said just how dumb it sounds, but you can not stop yourself. Things like this really do dumb down the people who say it, and the people around them. We have campaigns for save the whales, save the rain forest, save the baby seals. Can we have a Save the Brain Campaign? Rather than a war on drugs, let us have a War on Stupid Slogans! Rise up and throw off the shackles of overused sayings with dumb meanings!
Stop making funny bones jokes, they are not that funny! Put an end to your barrel of monkeys; cast aside your useless charms! Let us find some respect for our American Dialect! People’s idiolect has ruined our dialect.
