Austin….
Texas capital…
Where my father lives…
is that where I should be? So many things say yes… Even a part of my heart says drop it all and flee there…
I could be a writer there much easier… I would have more fun… I could see my dad every day…
only one thing really keeps me where I am… I am trying to decide if that one reason is worth it…
I hope he is… My lover has talked me out of moving to courpus right after i met him, he talked me out of moving to hot springs earlier this year…. he said he did not want to have to drive that far to see me… i was surprised he would even offer…
Here again the wind in my veins pulls me to move… he is not doing much to convince me to stay… but it does seem he wants me too… I just wish i knew what to do… I guess for the moment I stay… when the lease on my apartment is up though… I don’t know… He will have to say just the right thing to keep me here then…
i wish he knew and understood he is more than my lover… but my best friend too… i feel like i would be lost with out him… but at the same time he is destined to hurt me, and I am destined to never really get cozy…
Like my Naomi I can never be happy in one place… but my lover could never be my Robert… He could never be happy in that life… Nor would i want to take him away from his life and goals…
I have a friend I will kidnap in the way Naomi dose, but he will never be a lover to me… just a brother… I will someday live my life less ordinary, and i feel i should start in Austin… I am just not ready to say goodbye to the man i just might sometimes love….
